RIOTUS

Twenty Twenty-Four has just started, and David Ayer & Jason Statham are out here giving action movie fans a pure banger. Let’s just get to the plot in pure hyperbole. Jason Statham, the transporter, is now a beekeeper and rents space on Claire Huxtable’s land. After she falls prey to a phishing scam that takes all her money and money from a charity she administers for children and schools, she commits suicide. Statham, who has already told this woman she is the only person ever to care about him and take care of him, sees this, and after meeting her FBI daughter, he decides to destroy the evil phishing company and kill who runs it. HE KILLS THESE SUCKAS FOR TERRORIZING AND STEALING MONEY FROM OLD PEOPLE! LET’S. GO!!!! Okay, I’m calmer now. Statham plays a man named Adam Clay, and yes, he’s a beekeeper and also something more.

Phylicia Rashad plays Eloise Parker, a retired school teacher who rents out her barn to Clay, who takes care of bees that helps her land. He gives her honey. She does fall prey to a computer pop-up ad scam (man, this hits home because of my other life in I.T.), and people steal all her money. Clay finds her later after what I explained earlier. After meeting FBI Agent Verona Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman), he decides to find out who caused this woman to do this. We find out he’s a Beekeeper, some uber secret type of US agent who protects the people and the system (not too happy about this part, I can’t lie) who has retired. He decides to take his skills and go rogue and follow the money up the chain to see who is threatening the most vulnerable of the hive – spoiler, it’s evil capitalism.

This film knows what it is; it’s not that different from other Statham action outings, but I can say the direction from Ayer takes it up a notch. The film, which will remind you of other films, primarily in the beginning of John Wick, not because of the action style but in regards to older characters admonishing younger characters for not understanding the level of trouble they’ve done, was hilarious. The bad guy, Derek Danforth, played by Josh Hutcherson, is one of the most annoying and amazingly worth-hating bad guys in a long time. He plays the perfect Gen Z spoiled rich tech bro without care or understanding of consequences and repercussions. Watching this, you can’t wait to see him get his. He’s constantly paired with Jeremy Irons as Wallace Westwyld, essentially his babysitter who was once the head of the CIA and tries to stop Clay even though he repeatedly says it’s futile. So many great Irons snarky jokes at Hutcherson’s expense. Raver-Lampman’s Verona Parker doesn’t make sense in the entire movie, but she plays with complete conviction that after her mother’s death, she’s dead set on stopping Clay from taking these people even while learning of what he is. She keeps bringing up things like right and wrong and laws like this man doesn’t do stuff for the same Government she works for with complete permission. It’s like if you saw Helen Mirren’s Jane Tennison from Prime Suspect going after James Bond for murder even though he has a license to kill from the Government. It’s just so wild. Her interactions with her partner, Agent Matt Wiley (Bobby Naderi) are very good. This man just wants to go home, but her path of following Clay makes each stop more and more dangerous. This man is Shikamaru from Naruto level of not wanting to do anything troublesome. Their funny dynamic brings even more solid laughs to the movie.

I don’t know if this movie will be reviewed well, and honestly, people, if it isn’t, it doesn’t matter. The fights in this movie are fantastic. Well choreographed and paced. Everything is clear. Statham doesn’t get hurt at a level I haven’t seen since peak Steven Segal, BUT it works here. He must destroy the evil tech financial bros people. It’s so entertaining to watch that I can’t wait to see it again. I hope people get to see this with a theater full of people, as I did with people purely enjoying themselves at seeing god-tier fades passed out on many a person. The Beekeeper is quality action cinema; this is the energy I want at the beginning of 2024.

Score: B