I’m about to attempt a feat of Christmas magic so misguided that if your blood is thinner than cranberry sauce, you should turn back now. Call me Elastigirl ‘cause I’ve got a big backyard, a love of family, and this is a STRETCH. We’re about to flip Lethal Weapon into a holiday rom-com.
What if Murtaugh and Riggs were destined to meet under the mistletoe? You already know this movie is Christmas-y-er than Die Hard. That’s despite the pointless nudity and objectification (and I don’t mean Riggs’ frosted Christmas buns). The ’80s were weird. Also, when approaching any movie, show, or book more than 20 years old, we have to light the palo santo and do a couple of rotations before going in.
sidebar: This isn’t a sneaky endorsement for Goop, but we’ll take that money—and shop small business with it! We are heroes here on RIOTUS.
Still, Lethal Weapon is a Captive Christmas Classic. There are no denials, but stating the obvious is boring. On this site—like the last batch of sugar cookies on Hostage Eve—we mix it up so good you can’t leave. In that spirit, let’s put Lethal Weapon through the rom-com gauntlet, get cheekier than a naked man in a trailer, and see if Murtaugh and Riggs sing “All I Want for Christmas is You” by the end:
Like most Netflix, Lifetime, or Hallmark holiday romances, it starts with a breakup. Okay, it’s a body breaking up as it crashes into a car while “Jingle Bell Rock” plays in the background, but that’s a catalyst. It counts. Otherwise, we could start with the brokenhearted Riggs. He’s lonely, greiving, and carries a hollow point bullet around as a symbol of his shattered life.
Christmas in LA isn’t a small town, but with its quirky characters, warm-hearted teasing, and goofy family drama, the Murtaugh home feels like one. Murtaugh has everything he needs and he’s ready for retirement, but he’s taking his sweet life for granted. He’s forgotten people outside of his merry little bubble are hurting.
That’s when Murtaugh and Riggs get their meet-cute at the police station. Another cop leads Riggs in, and it looks like he’s been arrested. When he lifts his shirt and reveals his gun, Murtaugh tries to take him down. But Riggs is Special Forces. Murtaugh ends up on his back, with boot on his neck, mumbling his catchphrase, “I’m too old for this shit.” In true rom-com style, this workplace drama triggers animosity and resentment between the two detectives. You know what that is? That’s an enemies-to-lovers trope. The romance has begun.
After running around the city trying their best to be charitable. Like saving a man threatening to jump off a building and putting a drug dealer out of his misery. Murtaugh takes Riggs home to meet his family. The connection is immediate. Later, the two share a six-pack on the boat Murtaugh is fixing up—or failing to fix up—and they truly see each other for the first time. They bond by recognizing each of them brings something valuable to the partnership, and that strengthens them as a team.
Their new bond gets tested when Murtaugh’s daughter is kidnapped. The Old Guy has to choose whether to keep playing by the rules or trust in Riggs’ unpredictable approach. The Wild One has to trust in his growing love for the Murtaugh family, trading his recklessness for strategy. This is their turning point. It’s love.
Our buddy-cop couple emerges victorious after destroying Murtaugh’s house and his boat—the two symbols of his planned retirement. Riggs joins the Murtaugh Family on Christmas Day and gifts them with the symbol of his loneliness and despair—the hollow point bullet. Neither follows through on the plans they had before they met because they’ve transformed each other through the power of love. Holly Jolly Love. After that, when “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” plays and the Murtaugh Family embraces Riggs, that’s the BIG KISS at the end. A happily ever after with a bloody red bow on top.
Lethal Weapon is a Holiday rom-com. What more can I say except, “I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need…”
Want more from our Hostage Holiday Collection?
Catch up on the Although Things Explode It Really is a Christmas Movie series
Want more more more? We have a Hallmark Holiday Journal with sips and treats
