Disney’s live-action Snow White arrives with more baggage than a royal caravan. Directed by Marc Webb (The Amazing Spider-Man), the film stars Rachel Zegler as our princess and Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen. It should have been a surefire hit—a reimagining of Disney’s first animated feature with new songs—instead, Disney’s Snow White has faced a storm of criticism from every direction. It was already in the trenches, unfortunately, the less-than-fantastic fairytale doesn’t do much to rise above the frenzy.
This Snow White doesn’t feel like a Disney movie. It lacks the joy and wonder we expect from a Disney Princess and her romantic adventures. The story follows Snow as she navigates a kingdom ruled by her vain and villainous stepmother, the Evil Queen. But instead of the simplicity and charm of the 1937 classic, this version feels like the answer to an AI prompt: “Take the most popular princesses from Disney and other fairytales and add elements of their stories to the basic Snow White plot.” From that, we get:
- the opening from Whitney Houston and Brandy’s Cinderella
- a reverse Maleficent, but fabulosity without velocity = Meh-lificent
- the hero from Tangled
- the forest brigands from The Princess Bride
- vague allusions to Frozen
- Little Red Riding Hood as a symbol for rebellion (as seen in the trailer)
- and Bambi—yes, Bambi
The result is a movie that feels like someone tore up a big book of fairytales and tried to tape the pieces the wind didn’t blow away back together. If we didn’t know the original story, there would be no story at all. Things happen but the plot doesn’t blossom into something satisfying.
The acting doesn’t help. It’s not comical or the wide-eyed, open-armed enthusiasm of a kid’s TV host. It’s kind of cringy—so odd that you wonder if it’s spoofing itself. There’s an entire Evil Witch in Gal Gadot, but the only thing that moves us is her manicure. So sparkly. The merry band of brigands hiding out in the woods could have been interesting, but they’re wasted—with no purpose other than to spew one-liners that never come to mean anything to us anyway. Except for the one guy who leaves a Dwarven cookout with a polite, “Thanks for having us,” but with an impolite armful of giant baked pretzels. That made us giggle—my two goddaughters, my sister-friend Erika, and me. That’s what I’ll take away from Disney’s newest Snow White: one giggle and an armful of pretzels.
The storytelling is just as disjointed. There’s no flow or cause and effect, just an almost random string of events. Set pieces that should be big on feelings fizzle out because the movie doesn’t build up to them. There’s a magic snowflake, but we have no idea why it matters. People are inspired to remember their past happiness, but we didn’t know they’d forgotten, so why would remembering be magical? There’s no clear answer. Nothing is earned, and the emotional draw is nonexistent.
Snow’s relationships with the endearingly voiced1 Seven Dwarfs and her love interest, Jonathan (Andrew Burnap), feel hollow. Based on the movie’s apparent timeline, they’ve only known each other for two or three days. Other musicals make ‘instalove’ work by using songs to explore the characters’ interior worlds, but that doesn’t happen here—or if it does, it doesn’t land.
Speaking of songs, I’ve never left a Disney Princess movie without a new song in my heart, but most of the musical numbers in Disney’s Snow White never soar. They’re as flat as the Magic Mirror, who himself can’t seem to manage a good rhyme or rhythm when exalting the fairest of them all. The classics “Whistle While You Work” and “Heigh-ho” get remixed with updated lyrics, and they’re still bangers. Early on, the opening tune “Good Things Grow,” sung by the royal family—Young Snow White (Emilia Faucher), the Good Queen (Lorena Andrea), and the Good King (Hadley Fraser)—is a solid start.
Later, when Snow dreams of returning to the good life, she sings “Waiting on a Wish” and it’s the best song in the show. Still, your family probably won’t be singing it afterward like you did with “Let It Go” from Frozen or “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana.
sidebar: Maybe the song should’ve been called “Waiting on a Wish to Go.” No? You’re probably right, I’m not a songwriter.
Other tunes, like “Princess Problems” sung by Burnap, should be as pop-y as Wicked’s “Popular” but it doesn’t pass by fast enough. And, what’s supposed to be a bring-the-house-down moment—think “Friends on the Otherside” from The Princess and the Frog or “What’s the Use of Feeling (Blue)?” from Steven Universe and others2—when Gadot sings “All is Fair” it’s comical without meaning to be. She growled and snarled; we growled back at her and giggled.
Another misstep comes from framing Dopey3 as someone who doesn’t speak because he’s “afraid.” Of what? Who knows, the movie never tells us. While it’s a great moment when Snow White gives Dopey the gift of whistling to express himself, that good is undone by making him feel like there’s something inherently wrong with not speaking. The fact that Snow pushes that pressure point in their conversations doesn’t make her a kind and helpful person, it makes her pushy. My older goddaughter is adamant about that. What if Dopey needs a slower pace to heal? Um, from whatever he’s scared of, which is a thing we do not know.
Despite leaving me frowning, there are upsides to Disney’s Snow White. Based on my youngest goddaughter’s reaction, younger kids might enjoy it. The production design is quite pretty, especially the sets and woodland creatures. The animals are the best part. Designed to be a delightful blend of realistic and animated, they’re so-cute and fluffy. I now want a hedgehog of my very own, but only if I can have the one from this movie. Another good choice is the use of a homograph for the original “fair. While it initially referred to having skin as pale as snow, this new version alludes to the spirit of fairness and how that contributes to happiness. And finally, this cast—for the most part—can really sing.
However, none of that is enough to bolster the piecemeal storytelling and odd characterizations in this Disney Princess garage sale. Even as a spoof, Disney’s Snow White doesn’t get the job done. We almost had to whistle while we watched, because getting through this movie was work.
If I’m waiting on a wish, it’s please, please, please let the live-action Lilo & Stitch be great.
Disney’s Snow White comes to theaters on March 21
- The Seven Dwarves are voiced by Jeremy Swift (Ted Lasso) as Doc; Tituss Burgess (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) as Bashful; Andrew Barth Feldman (No Hard Feelings) as Dopey; Martin Klebba (Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes) as Grumpy; Jason Kravits (Lyle Lyle Crocodile) as Sneezy; George Salazar (Superstore) as Happy; and Andy Grotelueschen (The Gilded Age) as Sleepy ↩︎
- “Don’t Nobody Bring Me No Bad News” from The Wiz, “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from The Little Mermaid ↩︎
- Why does Dopey look like Alfred E. Neuman from Mad Magazine? Are they related? Maybe multiverse doppelgängers?
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