RIOTUS

It’s one more go-around where people forgo common sense to mess with dinosaurs. New island, new dinosaurs, lots of the same-old same-old.

In JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH, “security expert” (i.e., mercenary) Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) is hired by Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend) to get a very small team on and off one of the few remaining dinosaur habitats left. The object is to recover blood from three species: an aquatic mososaurus, a land-dwelling titanosaurus, and a flying quetzalcoatlus. With this blood… well, does it matter? It’s a McGuffin to get these people onto a dangerous, forbidden island.

Krebs and Bennett go to round up Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), who is a curator at a closing dinosaur exhibit in New York. It turns out dinosaurs are no longer exciting and new; the world’s climate is unsuited to them and now they only live on a few equatorial islands which are off-limits by international law. Loomis mourns the passing of the dinos’ heyday, noting that a few years ago, the empty museum would have had a long line to get in, while that week they had barely a dozen visitors. Clearly, this is the end of an era.

To help with their mission, Bennett enlists her friends Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali) and Bobby Atwater (Ed Skrein). It turns out Bennett and Kincaid are both getting back on the horse after suffering personal losses. But the money is good enough for this to be their retirement, so if they have to break the law, invade an island and risk death, so be it.

At the same time, the Delgado family is sailing through equatorial waters when their sailboat is capsized by a mososaurus. Father Ruben (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) has to manage his rebellious teenage daughter Teresa (Luna Blaise), her good-for-nothing boyfriend Xavier (David Iacono) and his terrified, dinosaur-befriending little girl Isabella (Audrina Miranda). They radio for help and Kincaid chooses, against Krebs’ demands, to rescue them. But soon they are attacked again and are marooned on the island.

What ensues is a struggle to extract the blood from these different creatures, while Krebs explains that this island–one we haven’t seen before–is where all the generic experiments were put that weren’t going on display in a theme park. (My wife called it the Island of Misfit Toys for dinosaurs and dang if that wasn’t exactly right.) Having to cross open grassland with predators prowling nearby and then scaling serious peaks to get to the avian’s nest, the only goal left is getting to the abandoned lab facility for extraction–where the biggest and most freakish dinosaur yet awaits.

JURASSIC WORLD: REBIRTH is an ambitious title for this movie. Director Gareth Edwards and screenwriter David Koepp (who wrote JURASSIC PARK and THE LOST WORLD, along with–interestingly enough–several LEGO JURASSIC WORLD pieces) bring us back into the world of dinosaurs with tremendous technical skill… yet precious little story to tell. This feels less like a “rebirth” than a “rehash,” with new characters and yet another island. (At this point, one has to wonder if there’s an equatorial island that doesn’t have a long-lost genetics research lab.)

Johansson, a self-professed super-fan of the series, does her best with what she’s got, although Bennett is uncommonly principled for a mercenary. She and Loomis (the equally engaging Bailey) make a pretty good partnership as they navigate this new terrain. Ali is also strong as Kincaid, bringing quiet sorrow and melancholy to a smuggler who’s lost what really matters in life.

Friend is the “suit” in this story, which probably tells you plenty, while the little family led by Garcia-Rulfo is a standout: really, the movie could easily have been about them alone.

Unfortunately, the movie devolves into a predictable struggle to survive against bigger, more horrifying dinosaurs than the one before. The Distortus Rex–the new super-beast–is a nightmarish thing indeed but it might not be enough to pique audiences’ interest by the time the story reaches its climax.

Fans of the series will undoubtedly like this new installment but it’s yet to be seen if it marks a new day for an aging franchise.

We’ll give this one five Aquilops (the new toyworthy critter) out of ten.