RIOTUS

Well, we all know why we’re here, don’t we? We’re gluttons for punishment, messy benches, chaos monsters, gossip girls. Whatever you call it, it seems Emily in Paris isn’t ending any time soon, nor are we done talking about it. In fact, it’s been going on for so long that Emily (Lily Collins) isn’t even IN Paris anymore: This season, she’s setting up the Agence Grateau office in Rome. And things are looking up—she’s got a charming Italian boyfriend (Eugenio Franceschini), a ton of new projects at work, and more lives to mess up in her own specific way.

And mess up, she does. Even after four seasons of steamrolling and refusals to read the room, Emily’s marketing ideas are still a tad too American for European tastes, and she still hasn’t learned why. Nor has she learned how to mind her business in her relationships, which comes back to bite her in the derrière later on. It’s only in the second half of the season that things stop dragging as much; let’s be honest, Emily in Paris works best when it’s chaotic. Sadly, though, S5 doesn’t have the right level of ridiculousness to justify its length or to hold your attention.

I hate to admit it, but as tiresome as Emily’s love life is, the series needs that central conflict to make everything else start spinning in its tumultuous gravitational pull. I’m forbidden from talking about the specifics of any romantic entanglements, so instead I’ll say this: It feels like they’re trying to make Emily into more of a sympathetic hero again…which only works when the other characters act out. 

The always hilarious Minnie Driver sweeps in as the influencer Princess Jane, who I can only assume is here to make everyone else look less obnoxious in comparison. Sylvie (Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu) has what I’m choosing to call an out-of-body experience, which suddenly renders her unable to figure out how to do the job she’s always been so good at—all so Emily can save the day. Although, Sylvie does also get a nice, steamy storyline that’ll have you cheering her on. Comme ci, comme ça, I suppose.

As for Gabriel (Lucas Bravo), monsieur, blink twice if you need help; the chef suffers an identity crisis over his Michelin star, and absconds for the majority of the season to find himself (and who can blame him). Mindy is the only one truly putting in the work; Ashley Park is singing and dancing for her paycheck, and she’s got the star shine to prove it. And Alfie (Lucien Laviscount) fans will have lots of moments to relish, just sayin’.

However, my fave duo, Julien (Samuel Arnold) and Luc (Bruno Gouery), do not have as much screentime as they deserve, which makes things far less amusing. Actually, so many of the B-plots are so forgettable, I’m having a hard time remembering if anything else of note happened. S5 has its entertaining scenes, sure, but if you still watch this show purely for the supporting cast, it’ll leave you wanting more.

Normally, I enjoy watching Emily in Paris because it’s fun to be a hater, but even this hater couldn’t find much to feel strongly about. S5 is a yawn; even the jokes feel more dated than usual, peppered with pop culture references that were over a lifetime ago (or perhaps that’s just how long this year has been). And although the Italian backdrops are gorgeous to look at, they give the writers more chances to drop in yet more stereotypes, this time about Italy instead of France. (See how that’s different? Right? Right?!)

While the drama begins to get juicy towards the end, most storylines end up falling flat due to nonsensical choices or throwaway moments that don’t build to a satisfying payoff. You’ll find yourself torn between being relieved that something shocking actually happened and wondering why the hell it did. And yet, I know, just like me, you’ll be seated—because this is the one show that Netflix and its audience can’t seem to quit.